{"id":125,"date":"2014-02-05T13:36:17","date_gmt":"2014-02-05T12:36:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ews.nu\/?page_id=125"},"modified":"2015-12-17T21:10:25","modified_gmt":"2015-12-17T20:10:25","slug":"humour","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/ews.nu\/?page_id=125","title":{"rendered":"Humour"},"content":{"rendered":"

Humour<\/strong><\/p>\n

\n

In one marketing campaign, Coors put its slogan, ”Turn it loose”, into Spanish, where it was read as ”Suffer from diarrhoea.”<\/p>\n

Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the following in an American campaign: ”Nothing sucks like an Electrolux.”<\/p>\n

When Gerber started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same packaging as in the U.S., with a beautiful Caucasian baby on the label. Later, they learned that in Africa, companies routinely put pictures on the label of wha…t’s inside, since most people can’t read.<\/p>\n

\n

\u00a0 Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue, the name of a notorious porno magazine.<\/p>\n

Pepsi’s ”Come alive with the Pepsi Generation” translated into ”Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave”, in Chinese.<\/p>\n

_________________________________________________________________<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\u201cAre you going to visit Czech Republic? Then you will just need our book!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u041f\u041e\u041f\u0423\u041b\u042f\u0420\u041d\u042b\u0419 \u0420\u0423\u0421\u0421\u041a\u041e-\u0427\u0415\u0428\u0421\u041a\u0418\u0419 \u0420\u0410\u0417\u0413\u041e\u0412\u041e\u0420\u041d\u0418\u041a<\/b> \u2013 POPULAR RUSSIAN-CZECH CONVERSATION BOOK<\/b><\/p>\n

ISBN 978-5-227-02435-0\u00a0 Moscow, 2010<\/p>\n

This book is full filled with all kinds of wrong translation. See yourselves:<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
\n

Page<\/b><\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

Russian<\/b><\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

Russian into English<\/b><\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

Czech <\/b><\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

Translation from Czech \/ Comments<\/b><\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

\n

14<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

\u0413\u0434\u0435 \u0432\u0430\u0448 \u0431\u0430\u0433\u0430\u0436?<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

Where is your luggage?<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

Kde je va\u0161e zavazadla?<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

Here should be used pluralis: Kde jsou<\/b> va\u0161e \u00a0 zavazadla?<\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

\n

17<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

\u042d\u0442\u043e \u043d\u0430\u0448\u0438 \u0434\u0435\u0442\u0438<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

Here are our children<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

Je to na\u0161e d\u011bti<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

Right: To jsou<\/b> na\u0161e d\u011bti<\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

\n

19<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

\u041d\u0435 \u043f\u043e\u043d\u0438\u043c\u0430\u044e
\n\u043f\u043e-\u0447\u0435\u0448\u0441\u043a\u0438<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

I don\u2019t understand Czech<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

Nerozum\u011bj\u00ed \u010desky<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

\u201eThey don\u2019t understand Czech\u201c<\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

\n

22<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

\u043f\u043e\u0441\u043b\u0435 \u043e\u0431\u0435\u0434\u0430<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

in the afternoon<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

po ve\u010de\u0159i<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

\u201dafter dinner\u201d<\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

\n

25<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

\u041e\u043d \u0441\u043c\u043e\u0436\u0435\u0442 \u043f\u0440\u0438\u043d\u044f\u0442\u044c \u0432\u0430\u0441 \u0447\u0435\u0440\u0435\u0437 \u0447\u0430\u0441<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

He can meet you in one hour<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

Dok\u00e1\u017ee v\u00e1s o hodinu \u00a0 pozd\u011bji<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

\u201dHe will be able you one hour later\u201d<\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

\n

54<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

\u041f\u0430\u0445\u043d\u0435\u0442 \u0431\u0435\u043d\u0437\u0438\u043d\u043e\u043c<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

It smells petrol<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

Je to v\u016fn\u011b benz\u00ednu<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

It\u2019s an aroma of petrol<\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

\n

55<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

\u0431\u0435\u043d\u0437\u043e\u0431\u0430\u043a<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

petrol tank<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

benz\u00edn n\u00e1dr\u017e<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

Loan translation; right: benzinov\u00e1 n\u00e1dr\u017e<\/b><\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

\n

56<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

\u043a\u0443\u0437\u043e\u0432<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

(car) body<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

t\u011blo<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

(a person\u2019s) body<\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

\n

57<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

\u043d\u0438\u043f\u043f\u0435\u043b\u044c<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

nipple (technical term)<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

bradavky<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

\u201cnipple\u201d (on breast)<\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

\n

59<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

\u041a\u0443\u0434\u0430 \u0432\u0435\u0434\u0435\u0442 \u044d\u0442\u0430 \u0434\u043e\u0440\u043e\u0433\u0430?<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

Where goes this road?<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

Kde se tato cesta vede?<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

\u201cWhere is this road registered?\u201d<\/p>\n

[Kde<\/b> \u2013 asking place, kam<\/b> \u2013 asking \u00a0 direction]<\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

\n

64<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

\u0436\u0435\u043d\u0430\u0442\u044b\u0439, \u0437\u0430\u043c\u0443\u0436\u0435\u043c<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

married (man, woman)<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

\u017eenat\u00fd, vzal<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

\u201cmarried, took\u201d<\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

\n

66<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

\u041c\u043e\u0436\u043d\u043e \u043f\u0440\u0438\u043d\u0435\u0441\u0442\u0438 \u0435\u0449\u0435 \u0432\u0435\u0448\u0430\u043b\u043a\u0438?<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

Would it be possible to bring more coat hangers?<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

M\u016f\u017eete uv\u00e9st v\u00edce z\u00e1v\u011bsy?<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

\u201dCan you usher in more hinges?\u201d<\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

\n

71<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

\u0427\u0442\u043e \u0432\u044b \u0431\u0443\u0434\u0435\u0442\u0435 \u0437\u0430\u043a\u0430\u0437\u044b\u0432\u0430\u0442\u044c?<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

What will you order?<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

Co se v\u00e1m objednat?<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

\u201dWhat yourselves you order?\u201d<\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

\n

71<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

\u0427\u0442\u043e \u0432\u044b \u043d\u0430\u043c \u043f\u043e\u0440\u0435\u043a\u043e\u043c\u0435\u043d\u0434\u0443\u0435\u0442\u0435?<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

What do you recommend us?<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

Co doporu\u010dujete \u00a0 k\u00a0n\u00e1m?<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

\u201dWhat do you recommend to us?\u201d<\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

\n

74<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

\u041c\u043e\u0436\u043d\u043e \u043c\u043d\u0435 \u0437\u0430\u043c\u0435\u043d\u0438\u0442\u0435\u043b\u044c \u0441\u0430\u0445\u0430\u0440\u0430?<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

May I have a sugar substitute?<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

Mohu m\u00edt cukr nahradit?<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

[English construction; noun = verb]<\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

\n

74<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

\u0412\u044b \u043f\u043e\u0434\u0430\u0435\u0442\u0435 \u0437\u0430\u043a\u0443\u0441\u043a\u0438?<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

Do you serve desserts?<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

Jste slou\u017e\u00ed ob\u010derstven\u00ed?<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

\u201cAre you serves refreshment?\u201d<\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

\n

74<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

\u042f \u0431\u044b \u0445\u043e\u0442\u0435\u043b(\u0430) \u043f\u043e\u0437\u0430\u0432\u0442\u0440\u0430\u043a\u0430\u0442\u044c<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

I would like have breakfast<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

R\u00e1d bych(a) na sn\u00eddani<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

..!<\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

\n

75<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

\u041c\u043e\u0436\u043d\u043e \u0435\u0449\u0435 \u043d\u0435\u043c\u043d\u043e\u0433\u043e?<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

May I have a little more?<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

M\u016f\u017eete dokonce j\u00edt?<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

\u201dDo you can even go?\u201d<\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

\n

75<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

\u041c\u043e\u0436\u043d\u043e \u0441\u0430\u043b\u0444\u0435\u0442\u043a\u0443, \u043f\u043e\u0436\u0430\u043b\u0443\u0439\u0441\u0442\u0430<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

May I have napkin\/serviette, please<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

M\u016f\u017eete v\u00fdpad, pros\u00edm<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

\u201dDo you can sortie, please\u201d<\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

\n

78<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

\u0441\u0442\u0430\u043a\u0430\u043d<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

glass (for drinking)<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

sklo<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

\u201dglass\u201d (a material)<\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

\n

79<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

\u0438\u043d\u0434\u0435\u0439\u043a\u0430<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

turkey<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

Turecko<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

\u201dTurkey\u201d (a land), should be krocan<\/b><\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

 <\/p>\n

I hope you had a jolly little pleasure with these translation jewels.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m also sure that all the personnel in the editorial office of this wordbook was satisfied with its reward. The people responsible was:<\/p>\n

Compiler: Irina Stanislavovna Pigelevskaya<\/p>\n

Head Editor: T. M. Minedzhyan<\/p>\n

Responsible for the issue: L. I. Yantseva<\/p>\n

Art Editor: I. A. Ozerov<\/p>\n

Editor Y. S. Vecherskaya<\/p>\n

Proof-reader: I. S. Slavina
\nComputer typesetting: Y. K. Kiseleva<\/p>\n

\u0417\u0410\u041e \u0418\u0437\u0434\u0430\u0442\u0435\u043b\u044c\u0441\u0442\u0432\u043e \u0426\u0435\u043d\u0442\u0440\u043f\u043e\u043b\u0438\u0433\u0440\u0430\u0444 – Centrpoligraf<\/p>\n

Address: 111024 \u041c\u043e\u0441\u043a\u0432\u0430, 1.\u044f \u0443\u043b. \u042d\u043d\u0442\u0443\u0437\u0438\u0430\u0441\u0442\u043e\u0432, 15<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The readers have\u00a0homework to do \u2013 to guess the origin of all the different translation mistakes.\u00a0 You can find more examples in the Russian and Swedish pages.<\/p>\n

—————-<\/p>\n

Instruction for a washing machine: Turn off your cock<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n
Err 06<\/div>\n<\/td>\n
\n
The program ready light and program end light blink<\/div>\n<\/td>\n
\n
The motor has failed<\/div>\n<\/td>\n
\n
Shut down your machine and unplug. Turn off your cock and apply to the nearest authorized service.<\/div>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

Nowadays there are mostly men who wash…<\/p>\n

\"line1\"<\/p>\n

Buttom or Button?
\nFurther would we will like to know how to translate ”Down for picture setting”
\n(=push the down bottom in order to get the picture menu) to Portuguese<\/p>\n

\"line1\"<\/p>\n

A fellow is walking down the street, when a masked gunman stops and
\nsays:\u00a0 ”Hey, you!\u00a0 Give me your watch!”
\nThe fellow hands over the watch, which is a counterfeit Rolex.\u00a0 The robber complains:\u00a0 ”What is this, a fake watch?\u00a0 Son of a … give me your wallet!”
\nThe fellow pulls out a billfold, made of plastic with an imitation leather finish, an imitation of a Pierre Cardin.
\nHe opens it, showing 3 euro cents, a couple of bus tickets and a black and white picture.
\nThe robber scoffs: ”What the hell is this?\u00a0 Your clothes are cheap, your watch is crap, you got nothing, you’re worse off than I am.\u00a0 What kind of work do you do?”
\nThe fellow answers, ”I’m a translator.”
\nThe robber responds, ”Really!”\u00a0 He pulls off his mask, and asks, ”Me too.\u00a0 Where did you go to school?”<\/p>\n

\"line1\"<\/p>\n

”Do not rely on the checker completely”<\/p>\n

I halve a spelling checker
\nIt came with my pea sea
\nIt plainly marks four my revue
\nMistakes I dew nor sea
\nI’ve sent this message threw it
\nAnd I’m shore pleased to no
\nI’ts letter perfect in it’s weigh;
\nMy checker tolled me sew.<\/p>\n

Hans<\/em><\/p>\n

\"line1\"<\/p>\n

A) The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans<\/p>\n

B) On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.<\/p>\n

C) The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.<\/p>\n

D) The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine, and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.<\/p>\n

E) Conclusion: Eat & drink what you like. It’s speaking English that kills you.<\/p>\n

\"line1\"<\/p>\n

While trying out a computer translator its programmers made it translate first from English to Russian and then back into English again. The idea was that if the final message was the same as the initial one, everything was fine. However, the initial input was the biblical quotation ’The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak’, and the end result came back as ’The vodka was great, but the steak was awful’.<\/p>\n

Tuquan Tuquan, Dubai<\/em><\/p>\n

\"line1\"<\/p>\n

En \u00f6vers\u00e4ttning fr\u00e5n ett ok\u00e4nt spr\u00e5k till ett ok\u00e4nt spr\u00e5k:
\nUndervisning f\u00f6r flytta den ’Servis’ tv\u00e4ttmaskin fr\u00e5n den packkorg. Framf\u00f6r flytta tv\u00e4ttmaskin fr\u00e5n den packkorg:
\nF\u00d6RST: Flytta fyra skogskruva p\u00e5 topp fr\u00e5n packkorg.
\nANDRE: Flytta tv\u00e5 batten fr\u00e5g voren trygg vid dessa skruva den maskin kan sedan vara av ber\u00f6va den fr\u00e5n den packkorg.
\nVARNING NOTIS: Den utv\u00e4xling p\u00e5 dessa ’Servis’ elektrisk tv\u00e4ttmaskin. Inneh\u00e5lla NEJ OLJA<\/p>\n

Piotr \/ R\u00e5d och r\u00f6n<\/em><\/p>\n

\"line1\"<\/p>\n

In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notis.<\/p>\n

In another Japanese hotel room: Please to bathe inside the tub.<\/p>\n

In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.<\/p>\n

In a Leipzig elevator: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.<\/p>\n

In a Belgrade hotel elevator: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.<\/p>\n

In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk.<\/p>\n

In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.<\/p>\n

In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.<\/p>\n

In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.<\/p>\n

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.<\/p>\n

In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers: Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.<\/p>\n

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.<\/p>\n

On the menu of a Polish hotel: Salad a firm’s own make; limpid red beat soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people’s fashion.<\/p>\n

In a Hong Kong supermarket: For your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient selfservice.<\/p>\n

Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs.<\/p>\n

In a Rhodes tailor shop: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.<\/p>\n

Similary, from a Soviet Weekly: There will be a Moscow Exibition of Aets by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.<\/p>\n

In an East African newspaper: A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.<\/p>\n

In a Vienna hotel: In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter.<\/p>\n

A sign posted in Germany’s Black Forest: It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and woman, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.<\/p>\n

In a Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.<\/p>\n

In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.<\/p>\n

A translated sentence from a Russian chess book: A lot of water has been passed under the bridge since the variation has been played.<\/p>\n

In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.<\/p>\n

In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven city tours – we guarantee no miscarriages.<\/p>\n

Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride on your own ass?<\/p>\n

On the faucet in a Finnish washroom: To stop the drip, turn cock to right.<\/p>\n

In the window of a Swedish furrier: Fur coates made for ladies from their own skin.<\/p>\n

On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong: Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life.<\/p>\n

Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan: Stop: Drive Sideways.<\/p>\n

In a Swiss mountain inn: Special today – no ice cream.<\/p>\n

In a Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.<\/p>\n

In a Tokyo bar: Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.<\/p>\n

In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them in all directions.<\/p>\n

In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.<\/p>\n

At a Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.<\/p>\n

In the office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in woman and other diseases.<\/p>\n

In an Acapulco hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water served here.<\/p>\n

In a Tokyo shop: Our nylons cost more than common, but you’ll find they are the best in the long run.<\/p>\n

From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner: Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.<\/p>\n

From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo: When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.<\/p>\n

Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance: – English well talking. – Here speeching American<\/p>\n

Hans
\n<\/em>
\n\"line1\"<\/p>\n

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would be known as ”Euro-English”.
\nIn the first year, ”s” will replace the soft ”c”. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard ”c” will be dropped in favour of the ”k”. This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter.
\nThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome ”ph” will be replaced with ”f”. This will make words like ”fotograf” 20% shorter.
\nIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent ”e”s in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away.
\nBy the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as resplasing ”th” with ”z” and ”w” with ”v”. During ze fifz year, ze unesesary ”o” kan be dropd from vords kontaining ”ou” and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
\nAfter zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru! And zen ve vil tak over ze vorld!<\/p>\n

Amelie<\/em>
\n\"line1\"<\/p>\n

Take the simple word ”Ghoti”. How to pronounce this? Well, as follows:<\/p>\n

gh pronounces as in tough
\n<\/strong>o as in wo<\/strong>man
\nti as in Nati<\/strong>on<\/p>\n

Consequently, it should be pronounced as ”Fish”!<\/p>\n

\ud83d\ude42 Hans<\/em><\/p>\n

\"line1\"<\/p>\n

Let’s face it:
\nEnglish is a crazy language…
\nThere is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger, neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
\nAnd while no one knows what is in a hotdog, you can be pretty sure it isn’t canine.
\nEnglish muffins were not invented in England nor French fries in France.
\nSweetmeats are candies, while sweetbread, which aren’t sweet are meat.
\nWe take English for granted.
\nBut if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
\nAnd why is it that writers write, but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce, and hammers don’t ham?
\nIf the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 meese? Is cheese the plural of choose? One mouse, 2 mice. One louse, 2 lice. One house, 2 hice?
\nIf teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught?
\nIf a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
\nWhy do people recite at a play, and play at a recital?
\nShip by truck or a car and send cargo by ship?
\nHave noses that run and feet that smell?
\nPark on driveways and drive on parkways?
\nHow can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
\nHow can weather be hot as Hell one day and cold as Hell another?
\nWhen a house burns up, it burns down.
\nYou fill in a form by filling it out and an alarm clock goes off by going on.
\nYou get in and out of a car, yet you get on and off a bus.
\nWhen the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
\nAnd why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it?<\/p>\n

J\u00f6rgen Hansen<\/em><\/p>\n

\"line1\"<\/p>\n

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
\n2) The farm was used to produce produce.
\n3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
\n4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
\n5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
\n6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
\n7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
\n8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
\n9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
\n10) I did not object to the object.
\n11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
\n12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
\n13) They were too close to the door to close it.
\n14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
\n15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
\n16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
\n17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
\n18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
\n19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
\n20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
\n21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?<\/p>\n

J\u00f6rgen Hansen<\/em><\/p>\n

\"line1\"<\/p>\n

CZECH<\/strong><\/p>\n

Z m\u00fdch z\u00e1znam\u016f recenzovan\u00fdch filmov\u00fdch titulk\u016f:<\/span><\/p>\n

Je to od tebe hodn\u00e9.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Zem\u0159el akor\u00e1t star\u00fd.<\/p>\n

Nestr\u00e1vila jsem s n\u00edm \u010das.\u00a0\u00a0 Ponech\u00e1v\u00e1m m\u016fj d\u016fm k m\u00e9 dce\u0159e.<\/p>\n

Chci abys s n\u00ed str\u00e1vil \u010das.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Byl to v\u017edy jej\u00ed domov a nikdo jin\u00fd to tak nevid\u011bl.<\/p>\n

Zn\u011bla jsi up\u0159\u00edmn\u00e1.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 To jsem cht\u011bli zm\u011bnit,ale nesta\u010dili jsem to.<\/p>\n

Na na\u0161i prvn\u00ed miljard!<\/p>\n

Byl na v\u00e1s spravedliv\u00fd.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cht\u011bli jsme ti to brzeji \u0159\u00edci.<\/p>\n

P\u0159izn\u011bte, \u017ee to n\u011bco znamen\u00e1. P\u0159izn\u011bte to!<\/p>\n

\"line1\"<\/p>\n

While trying out a computer translator its programmers made it translate first from English to Russian and then back into English again. The idea was that if the final message was the same as the initial one, everything was fine. However, the initial input was ”Out of sight, out of mind”, and the end result came back as ”Invisible idiot”. I guess we don’t have to worry too much about our automatic competition, at least for the moment.<\/p>\n

Hans B Karlsson
\nKarlsson &\u00a0 Karlsson Media AB<\/em><\/p>\n

\"line1\"<\/p>\n

These pages are still under construction. We will appreciate every contribution<\/a> or suggestion for a translation or linguistic humor in English (even combined with other languages, of course).<\/p>\n

EWS<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Humour In one marketing campaign, Coors put its slogan, ”Turn it loose”, into Spanish, where it was read as ”Suffer from diarrhoea.” Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the following in an American campaign: ”Nothing sucks like an Electrolux.” When Gerber started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same packaging as in the U.S., … Forts\u00e4tt l\u00e4sa Humour<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":7,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-125","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ews.nu\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/125","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ews.nu\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ews.nu\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ews.nu\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ews.nu\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=125"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/ews.nu\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/125\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":360,"href":"https:\/\/ews.nu\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/125\/revisions\/360"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ews.nu\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=125"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}